Some of you may already know this and some of you may not, but my husband is quite the character. He comes across to most people as a friendly and laid back personality. Those who know him personally though, will give a much different description.
Ace is goal oriented, driven, honest, giving and incredibly tolerant of my many neurotic tendencies (many many.... like, you have NO idea) .
Most of all though? My dear husband is a KING SMART-ASS. It has taken more than 6 years together and countless lost arguments for me to even begin to train my ear and my brain to pick up on the intricacies of his keen sarcasm.... He's the only person I know who is capable of getting me so angry so quickly.
Now, I will be the first one to admit that I have quite the potty-mouth. I use profanity to convey anger more often than anyone ever should. This along with hurling heavy objects, had always been my way of venting my anger toward my dear husband. That is, until ZK came along.
You should know that as a child and all through my life, I was unwillingly exposed to an unholy amount of physical and verbal violence. I witnessed things in my home that no child should ever ever have to see or know about. To this day, I'm still trying to pick up all of those pieces. I always swore that when the time came for me to have children of my own I would do whatever it would take to protect them from those things. I would NEVER fight in front of them.
All of those things that I promised myself though, came before I ever met said King smart-ass. I don't know if anyone else has ever had this type of problem with their husband before, but mine makes pushing my buttons into his own entertaining past-time. He will find just the right moment to (with a smile!) say the one thing that will send me over the edge, and then once I'm knocked off balance he will push and push and push and..... @#$%&^**!!!!!!!!!!!! &$*%$@!)**!!!!!
And then I've lost it. I've thrown a cell phone or a skillet or a can of coke and I've screamed things that would make Captain Blackbeard blush and hide his face. My man is talented like that.
So now, I have this 2 1/2 year old. He's pretty smart! He knows when mama's getting irritated, and he knows when I'm sad or stressed. I've had to get pretty creative in my efforts to not argue in front of him. Another reason for that is because he is like this little tape recorder. He can repeat things I say! Even bad words!!! Imagine that! One day as I accidentally started to scream in front of the boy after one of Ace's cute little remarks I called him an "uh..ACE-HOLE!!!" To which my husband responded with a smirk. For the rest of the day, he was "Ace". When we would have friends over after that and he would begin to bother me, I would "Hey, Ace, can you please grab me another glass of wine?", and he would get the idea and sort of try to stop.
And there you have it! The name? It suits him well. Not only for his bad attitude but for all of his good traits. He's my number one. He's Ace.
