30 posts of truth- day 1.

I found my inspiration for NaBloPoMo here.
Her blog is one of my absolute favorites. Her writing is beautiful and honest and she has a way of reaching my emotions and making me feel every part of her story as if I were there living it with her. You should read her stuff. :-)

So anyway! Day one of the 30 posts of truth says to name something that you hate about yourself...............

Geez. Wouldn't it just be easier to name the few things I DON'T?.....
I guess that very statement, if I really think about it embodies exactly what I hate about myself; I am my own worst critic.
For as long as I can remember, I have always known that if I were to be confronted by someone who had negative things to say about me, their list of complaints could never be as long or as painstakingly detailed as my own list would be. About myself.
I don't know how I got to be that type of person or if there was any specific event in my life that caused me to think of myself as less than worthy, but no matter what situation I'm in, I am always feeling like everyone else has the upper hand. Even if I'm right and they're obviously wrong I always immediately assume that I must be the one that's out of line. I'm the one who acted incorrectly.

I really don't have any other way to elaborate on that topic, though, because I still haven't really figured out how to fix it.
How does one change a way of thinking they have had for their entire life? I assume the same way that I change anything else about myself; slowly but surely.

And so, I begin this 30 posts of truth project. I hope that in doing this I will be able to get to know the real me a lot better. I plan to answer every single question as candidly and honestly as humanly possible.
I promise that a lot of it won't be pretty. I also promise that I don't care if it's entertaining, uplifting, depressing or offensive. I only care to complete it to the best of my ability in hopes of reaching a better understanding of who I really am.

Care to be a fly on the wall?
Im an open book folks. Buckle up.