I Have Pink Hair.

If you didn't already notice, I did a redesign today. I love it and it makes me happy when I look at it. Yay me, right? I feel like this layout fits my personality a lot better. On the inside, I'm a girl with not two but 20 tattoos and not 7 but 17 piercings. I'm a lot louder and I have pink hair and I wear a lot more leather and skinny jeans with converse.
I'm too old to dress like that now, but on the inside I'll always think like that girl and I think that's okay. I think that's a good thing.

Today, I want to ask you a question. What does the real you look like? What do they wear? How do they act? What do you see when you think of the you on the inside?

I see a girl. Not a woman, but a girl that loves to be different and loves to seek out the obscure, the special, the unknown little awesome things in this world that make it interesting and fun. I see that even though right now my life is all about being a mama and a good wife and home maker, I still know who I am at my very core. I;m a little strange. I'm quirky. I love to like the things that you don't like. I love to make you uncomfortable. I love to witness awkward situations. They make me laugh. I love to make you look at the situation another way and to see that you may be wrong.
I also love to make you happy. The girl with the skinny jeans and the pink hair and tattoos is also a people pleaser. Some would call that a character flaw. I don't think it is, but maybe I just have a lot more to learn. I mean, of course I do.

I had originally intended to write about ZK today and the difficult time we've been having. I don't want to write about that tonight. I think tomorrow I just need to remember the girl I'm looking at now and what she would do with a defiant little boy commanding her complete attention and pushing all of her buttons to get it. She would definitely be doing things differently than I have been. She would definitely be a lot more fun.
I'm going to trust that tomorrow she'll be able to work all of this out for me. I think Zk needs a lot more of someone like her and a lot less of the person I've been recently. I've been letting the stress and fatigue from my job get to me and it's hit him the hardest.
I think I have a lot of work to do. This calls for some serious artillery. Imay have to break out my playdough.